Up and Down Night

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

GNO. Girls Night Out. Every woman needs one once in awhile. I got one tonight and it was good. Good to get out sans kids. Good to have a few mexican martinis. But on my way home I felt out of sorts and usually whenever I start feeling "that feeling" it's for missing my mom. I realized I really wanted to pick up the phone and call her. It was only 9pm and I knew if she were still alive she'd be awake, maybe watching TV, reading a book or getting ready for bed. I wanted to know if she loved GNO? If she needed that girlfriend bonding the way I do? Did she talk with her friends about the same things I do? Did she ever feel out of sync with her friends sometimes? Such every day life questions, but they are the ones I miss most.

Tonight Mom, I'm thinking of you. Wondering "what if" a-g-a-i-n. Useless endeavor, but I still do it. Can't help myself. Just miss you with a capital "M"